How to Clear the Energy of Your Home or Office

Illness, violence, arguments, drug-use, thoughts, and moods influence the energy of a place. When you enter someone’s home or office, part of you automatically notes how it feels. Conscious or not, this awareness seems to be a survival mechanism, keeping you alert for protection and safety.

Sometimes I meander through our neighborhood “open houses” to satisfy a curiosity about what type of home is selling for what price. These homes all speak to me about their dwellers. In some of the homes, the energy is such that it’s hard to breathe. If realtors were aware of how this energy affects the unconscious of potential buyers, they would clear the home energy first, before putting it on the market.

Clearing a place serves to reset the energy. Just as you would clean dirty floors in a new home, it’s important to clean the energy. If you can’t see this energy, that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Before you bring anything into your new home or office, clear the space. Otherwise, you’re living in someone else’s energetic dirt, which can affect you.

I once toured a famous historic home near Boston. Our small group was told about the home’s original owners – folks who lived there when the first shot “heard ‘round the world” occurred. It was one of those places I had trouble breathing in, which was one sign the energy was stagnant. When we entered an upstairs bedroom, I could not only feel illness in the air, I could smell it. I said, “Someone had a long illness, probably died in this room.” The tour guide and the others looked at me as if I’d grown a second head. The guide then confirmed that an older woman had died there. I knew part of her was still hanging around.

The energy of folks doesn’t go out the door when they leave. It clings to walls, drapery, furniture, carpet, and the air. When I have moved, I’ve tried to find out what was going on with the former tenants. How was their relationship? Their finances? Their mood?

This coincides with the ancient practice of Feng Shui, which advises us to know the history of the home and its inhabitants before moving in. For example, if someone was ill, or if they fell upon desperate times, financially or otherwise, it’s unadvisable to move in behind them because the same thing can touch you. This can work positively as well. In one home I lived in, a two-story duplex, each of the tenants downstairs began as a single woman and moved out newly-wed.

We aren’t always going to know what happened in a place before we move in. This is why I would clear any home or building as a rule. Clean thoroughly, wipe down walls, shampoo carpets and floors, and let fresh air blow through each and every room. Bring in as much natural light as possible. Sounds, chanting, singing, living plants, fresh flowers, and certain crystals are also helpful in moving and transforming energy.

In tougher cases where something seems strange or you know there was negativity or death, use additional clearing techniques. The main one I use comes from the Native American tradition. This technique was explained to me years ago by a Native American medicine man in the hills near Lake Arrowhead. A friend had just bought a fixer nearby which had a dreadful energy, to the point we didn’t want to enter one of the rooms at all. We wanted the medicine man to come to the house, but he said it wasn’t a good day for him and we could do it ourselves.

Of course, he said to use the Native American herb white sage, wrapped into a tight bundle (sometimes called a smudge stick or sage wand). Open all the windows or just crack them if it’s windy. Open cabinets and closet doors. Light the tips of the sage with a match and extinguish the flame so the wand lightly smokes. Walk counterclockwise around the home, into each room. Allow each corner, cupboard, and closet to receive the smoke. When finished, pass by again in a clockwise direction.

Sage alone creates a void, so it’s advisable to use another herb blended with it such as lavender or sweet grass. This pulls in a more positive energy as the older, stagnant energy exits. If you just have straight sage, use your intention to bring in higher, more positive energy. Our medicine man also advised us to throw sea salt in the corners of the house for good measure and leave white candles burning (with supervision).

There are many different variations on how to clear a space. I’ve found a thorough cleaning combined with the simple use of sage is usually enough. Ongoing, sage can be used to reset the energy of a place after there has been any sort of upset.

Is Insomnia Harming Your Immune System?

I recently heard a celebrity doctor say seven hours of sleep per night is ideal and if we get more than that we are shortening our life spans. Then, this week I read an article in a health journal advising eight hours of sleep for optimal health. Obviously there are conflicting viewpoints about how much sleep will help us heal, remain healthy, and perhaps extend our lives.

Some people can get six to seven hours of sleep, apparently function well all day, and continue on without fatigue, while others feel tired, looked tired, are foggy-minded, and generally irritable after the same amount. It is the latter group that needs to be aware of their own well-being, because these are the ones who will first come down with a cold or flu, their body unable to fully recuperate through sleep.

By knowing and honoring our own ideal sleep rhythm, we are better equipped to remain healthy and avoid not only infections that might be going around, but more serious diseases. Stanford University psychiatrist David Spiegel, MD, reviewed studies and noted a correlation between sleep-regulated hormones melatonin and cortisol, and cancer. Cortisol helps regulate the immune system response, while melatonin may have an antioxidant effect on cells, which can prevent the damage that can lead to cancer.

There are several other links between sleep deprivation and immunity, so what are we to do if we know we aren’t getting the sleep we need? It’s helpful to begin with a few basic questions about your own true “sleep nature.”

Think back to when you were a child and remind yourself of your own sleep cycle. On weekends, would you stay up late and sleep in the next day? Or were you falling asleep in front of the television by 9:00 and waking early the following morning? Many of us have had to change our true sleep rhythm in order to get along in life, and it’s worth getting in touch with it again.
Are you at your best during the day if you go to bed by 10:00pm, or, can you stay up past midnight and feel great the next day?
If given a choice, would you rise with the sun or sleep late into the morning?
Is your energy highest in the morning? Or does it increase in the evening? 
How sensitive are you to judgment around sleep patterns? For example, do you hear criticism from a society that says you should not be ready for bed as early as 9:00pm, but you shouldn’t stay in bed very late in the morning either?
Do you like to take naps?
Do you like to be up doing things in the middle of the night?
At what time during the day do you get a lull in your energy?

Becoming more familiar with your personal sleep nature can help you accept the way your own body wants to rest. And it does want to rest, very deeply, because this is when it heals itself, rejuvenates and recharges, and mends what needs mending. I believe the best, most renewing sleep happens when you are in sync and mindful of your natural sleep traits, the ones that truly suits you. Perhaps it is easy to lose sight of what they are because of the structured work and school day. But if you’ve had lowered immunity, it’s completely allowable to adjust your schedule to honor yourself and your rhythm.

There are many holistic ways to get to sleep without the use of drugs and other artificial methods. The following suggestions have worked for many people, even during times of intense stress.

• Be sure to get adequate magnesium and calcium, in proper balance, through a source or supplement that is food-based, not synthetic. This will help calm your nervous system.
• L-theanine is an amino acid that calms the mind. Studies have shown it to help people sleep better, if not necessary longer. 
• Adaptogens such as ashwaganda help reduce cortisol levels to lessen stress and help you sleep. I would get this through a licensed practitioner so the right dose can be determined for you.
• Calms Forte is a homeopathic remedy that can help calm the nerves and induce sleep without the heavy feeling of sleeping pills. It can be found in any natural food store.
• Drink chamomile tea in the evening. 
• Walk daily, if only for 20-minutes.
• Avoid caffeine during the day, or drink green tea, but only in the mornings.  
• Calm your mind and spirit in the evenings by turning off the computer, telephone, and television at least an hour before bedtime.
• Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
• At the end of the day, write down your thoughts, feelings, worries, and concerns to get them out of your head and down on paper.
• Clear your bedroom of clutter, including computers and electronics.
• Remove papers and extra books from your nightstand.
• Stop answering the phone or having animated conversations in the evenings if it activates your mind too much. 
• Meditate before bed or read a novel to relax and clear your mind from the day.

If you still don’t sleep well through the night after you have tried these, see an acupuncturist, herbalist, naturopath, homeopath, or holistic practitioner to assist you so you can come back into balance, sleep soundly, and keep your immunity strong.

A Drug-free Way to Manage Overwhelm, Stress, and Uncertainty

Lately more people tell me they are overwhelmed. We witness and hear about more things now than any human beings before us. There is an onslaught of information which on its own can be overwhelming. But we are also in a time of rapid change, causing many people to transform their ideas and even their values. This requires letting go of old concepts that once provided a sense of stability. It also causes feelings of uncertainty and fear.

How can you get comfortable with uncertainty in these quickly changing times? This is the key to alleviating stress in your life. One excellent way is to meditate. Westerners resist meditation, being oriented toward a more outward focus. But if you truly want to feel calm and become more peaceful within without drugging yourself, find that spot of comfort and ease with uncertainty by becoming quiet within every day. Sit down, close your eyes, be still and quiet, focus your attention inward, and notice the feelings wanting your attention.

All good meditation practitioners know that once you begin to do this, you will discover that no thought or feeling remains with you for long. Each and every thought, emotion, or sensation - such as overwhelm - just gets the opportunity to be noticed. It will arise and pass away. It will not stay. And it will stop chasing you.

On a different note, here is something you probably haven’t considered. If you are overwhelmed or feeling fear, are you trying to force things to conform to your will? Changes are taking place in our world in the realm of "will and power," making way for group cooperation. If you are still trying to will things to your liking, you are probably feeling frustrated. We are moving toward operating at a more heart-centered level now. The old ways, those of I-twist-your-arm-and-you-do-what-I-want, are gradually dissolving. We are entering a new era of co-operation.

In our individual lives, this means we will learn to compromise - our ideals, values, wants, needs, and desires. On a global scale, same thing. We can just turn on the news and read between the lines how these changes are subtly occurring. It is becoming difficult for anyone to be out of integrity without everyone knowing about it. As further interesting and perhaps unexpected or unusual things emerge in our world, we'll see it is increasingly difficult for singular entities to be in control. Life will demand that people cooperate with one another.

We are each in charge of the way we experience this life. We create our own drama and tears, our own joys. If you have found yourself in more drama than you care to admit, you can change course to something less stressful at any moment. This requires you to relinquish "victimhood." This "victim" thing is powerful and we tend to wallow in it, until one day something clicks and we decide we've had enough of it. Is now a good time to decide you’ve had enough?

You can benefit yourself even further by turning your thoughts to more of what you would like to see in your life. It is time to understand how powerful your thoughts are. For example, think more about consideration, harmony, love and belonging, integrity, cooperation, fulfillment at work, community, greater abundance, peace, eco-harmony, clean water, clean air, conscious people, kindness. Never discount the power of your own mind to create positive change for yourself.

Finally, turn your worries around. Remember your every thought is powerful, like a prayer or a plead to the Universe. Now is the time for you to gain authority over your thoughts and direct them mindfully. If you find yourself pondering your worries, reverse direction. Focus on what you want to see, not on what is wrong. This is a powerful way to manage overwhelm, stress, and uncertainty. Stop blaming, worrying, and commiserating with others. No more excuses, just you taking responsibility for how you choose to be in the world.

My suggestions here require no drugs or synthetic substances to help you avoid yourself. Instead, they encourage you to grow, expand, become more wise and aware, and live life in a more balanced way. There is no doubt that is why you are here and I’ve no doubt you are capable of stepping into a more conscious and evolved future. As you do this, you’ll find the overwhelm dissipates, stress diminishes, and uncertainty, though it remains, is just fine.

How to Hold Your Balance in Unusual Times

We've finally arrived at the threshold of the long-awaited Summer of 2010. Stargazers have been wondering what this particular summer might bring because there is a rare alignment of planets in the sky. The last time they danced together was during the revolutionary mid-60's when the unexpected coincided with social unrest and an unraveling of oppression. Many people are wondering what these next few months have in store for us.

We seem to be perched on the edge of a new evolutionary leap. We are witnessing intense times, not unlike what many of our ancestors saw, but more troubling because of the 24-hour news cycle which keeps us continually abreast of worldwide details. We all know how jarring and upsetting the news can be, especially lately with the added feelings of helplessness around the oil "spill." Now devastating our ecosystem, we aren't quite certain what to make of it.

Feelings of helplessness can cause high levels of stress. People feel better when they can take action to make a change or at least feel they are doing something, anything, to exert control over a difficult situation.

It is wise to convert feelings of helplessness into something less stressful. One way is to explore how you can make a positive difference in your own community. By taking small steps, for example by doing something as simple as donating old towels to your local animal shelter, you can feel better about not being able to do much on the bigger scale. Your action doesn't have to be huge to relieve a sense of helplessness in the face of a difficult situation. It will help to just do something to benefit your small corner of the planet.

When you are under higher stress than normal due to outside circumstances you can’t control, it is important to take a holistic approach to feel stronger, more serene, and balanced. This means paying attention to your physical body - and also your mental state, your emotions, and your spirit.

Let’s look at a situation that affects your mind and emotions. Questions and concerns are swirling around in the minds of almost everyone, and we have multiple situations where we are more easily affected by what I call the "group think."

The "group think" is powerful because you can be swept into it without realizing it. It occurs when many people begin feeling or believing in the same way until the power of the belief or feeling expands to the point of becoming very influential. Just consider mass hysteria and how it spreads like wildfire and you’ll get the picture. When you are aware of this phenomenon and how it can affect your perceptions, you can begin to separate your own thoughts and feelings from that of the mass consciousness.

There are good reasons why it is wise to know when your thoughts belong to you or to the group. Mass consciousness, at least up to now, has been tightly woven with fear. Anytime you are swept into a tide that is based on fear, you lose sight of your higher perspective, the quality of your life is diminished, and you are not living from your own centered place.

These are times to maintain perspective, to be centered, and to be aware when you are caught up in a stream of fear-based reactions. What can you actually do to keep your balance or regain it once it's lost? There are some simple steps you can take.

1. Nourish your body with whole, real food. Make yourself a few of your favorite comfort foods.
2. Limit your sugar intake, as it is directly linked with anxiety and mood swings.
3. Re-evaluate your need to be busy, busy, busy. Sit back and relax a little. Enjoy the warmth of the sun.
4. Take a 2-day news break once a week. No TV, newspaper, or internet news. Let your mind be free from the onslaught.
5. Relax your shoulders and breathe slowly, regularly, more deeply.
6. Turn off the computer in the early evening. To help relax your mind, meditate or read a good novel before bed.
7. Pray, visualize, or otherwise request what you would like to see in the world.
8. Have a bottle of Bach Rescue Remedy handy - a natural stress-reliever.
9. Get connected with the earth by going out into nature. This will balance your energy.
10. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people.

Change: Adapting to the Inevitable

We know things need to change, in our own lives and out in the world. You can ask almost anyone what needs to change in life and they will have answers. Ideas and opinions of what needs to change are as varied and diverse as the people offering them.

When the idea for change comes from within ourselves, we usually like it. It is inspiring. But when change comes in as an independent with a mind of its own, it can seem like a rebellious teenager. Just when we think things are calm it sulks around, keeps us awake at night, and makes us want to gain greater control.

Wise souls among us know that change is all we can truly depend on. We can’t escape it, though we try, and in many cases we must let it be. Mostly we try to avoid change because we have no idea what is in the future and we really don’t want to alter our world view. We decide it is best to keep things as they are, or how they used to be. Plus, we don’t want to experience the feelings of loss that often accompany change. What if we terribly miss what we had?

The idea of change, and change itself, brings up unnecessary fear which then causes unwarranted stress on the body and mind. I believe one of our tasks as human beings is to overcome fear, especially the useless fears that pervade our modern lives. I see fear restricting the body, mind, and spirit, shrinking one’s life experience into an uncomfortable little box. It takes our minds to dark narrow places where we lose a broader, more balanced perspective.

We will always have the unknown future in front of us, unpredictable circumstances will occur in our lives, our country and its people will do or say things we don’t like. At these times, we have the opportunity to either grow our fear or live every moment as if it were sacred, remembering that even the most unusual of circumstances can be profoundly healing and enriching, bringing in higher wisdom and understanding.

One way to overcome fears that arise due to change is to develop a sense of trust and faith in something greater than yourself, such as a belief that there is something beyond the ordinary mundane life. World religions and philosophies have sought to provide this for people, but many of them have fallen short of actually teaching a person how to be free from useless fears. The responsibility is on each individual.

Each time we begin to share our fears of uncertainty with others or swirl them through our heads, we can stop and take a moment to think about whether we want to be stuck in this stressful cycle. Fears grow stronger when we think about them and share them with others who then validate them by agreeing and adding in their own fears.

One way to reduce fear rather than expand it is simply to become aware of it, knowing that the wiser path welcomes change, accepts the inevitable, and chooses not to fear it. By becoming aware of our habitual reactions to the unknown future, by acknowledging our resistance to the feelings loss brings, by being aware of the times when someone says something that refutes our world view and ignites our own fears, we can begin to approach life in a more balanced way.

When we try to keep our lives, surroundings, and viewpoints the same, something will surely come along to roll them around a bit, and thankfully so. Do we really want to live a life so thin and safe that there is no new experience, expansion, or advancement of the mind and spirit? In these rapidly changing times, which I predict are just gaining momentum, the more we can flow with change and allow our minds to be free, the better off we will be. Perhaps in the process, we can grow calmer, wiser, more mature, and more peaceful.

Relieve Stress for Life

Originally, a stress response meant a threat to our physical existence: a tiger was chasing us, a neighboring tribe was invading, our ship at sea was sinking. These events led to a perfect chemical condition in the body that helped us have more physical stamina to survive. We could either fight for our lives or run very fast: the fight or flight response.

Modern stress is different. A physical attack or other life-threatening circumstance occurs rarely even though the majority of people feel excess stress daily. Why does the fight or flight response occur when our lives are not threatened? Because our minds don’t distinguish between a true threat and one that we imagine or worry about.

Managing modern stress is vital to our optimal health and well-being. When we don’t manage it, stress lets us know through anxiety, worry, irritability, indigestion, tightness in the jaws, neck, and shoulders, clenched teeth, anger, headaches, fatigue, panic attacks, sleeplessness, and overeating. We might as well include heart disease, cancer, chronic fatigue, and other modern diseases. When your body releases chemicals designed to strengthen you but doesn’t get an outlet such as fighting or fleeing, your health and well-being are undermined.

You guide and direct your own stress response based on your perceptions and actions. Sometimes other people and a hectic lifestyle affect you adversely, but nothing can disturb your inner balance except you. There are many ways you can help your body process stress that don’t involve fighting or running away. Just by incorporating these ten tips alone, you can protect yourself from the harmful side effects of stress.

1. Exercise. You’ve heard it so much maybe you’ve begun to ignore the advice, but exercise will burn off the excess fuel that stress creates in your body. It oxygenates your cells and clears out the chemicals. Make moving your body a daily habit. If you are under extreme lifestyle stress, workout vigorously and let yourself sweat.
2. Expose yourself to sunlight. It strengthens immunity, increases endorphins to help balance your emotions, and among other benefits, reduces stress.
3. Limit sugar, white flour products, and packaged, processed foods of all kinds. They increase stress as the body tries to figure out what to do with them. Instead, eat whole foods that come from nature, which is what is intended for optimal health and wellness.
4. Sleep well and plenty. If you have insomnia, visit an acupuncturist.
5. Pay no mind to stressed people and begin to clear unhealthy relationships from your life. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people.
6. Take note of how much television news coverage you watch. Once the reel comes around again and you hear the same fear-based story for the second time, turn the channel. It is extremely stressful on your body to watch horrific scenes and hear about tragedies. Take action to help, or focus on something else.
7. Lack of joy in your work is an emotional drain and daily stressor. There are two options. Change your job or change the way you think about it.
8. Find a way to reduce the amount of noise in your environment. Noise pollution is a big stressor and one which many people ignore. What irritating noise do you tolerate in your daily life? How can you bring more quiet into your life?
9. Worry is a habit to eliminate. We either can do something about a situation or we have no control over it. Get clear on what your options are and either do something to make a change or understand it is out of your control and let it go. Eliminating excess worry is a practice that can become a healthy habit.
10. When your desk is piled high, you are racing the clock, your daughter doesn’t arrive home when she said she would, and your mother comes to visit, breathe. Harmful stress involves shallow breathing. Breathe slowly allowing your belly to rise instead of your chest and shoulders. It is impossible to remain stressed when you breathe deeply.

Ten Natural Remedies for Headache Pain

Headache pain can be a deep burden. For good reason, the majority of us have pain relievers in our homes, desk drawers, office cabinets, handbags, briefcases, travel bags, nightstands, and medicine cabinets. Without relief, we can’t function well, think straight, or sleep at night. The easiest solution in our fast-paced lifestyle is to take pills to alleviate the suffering.

These pills, however, are not without cost. If you experience headaches, your body is already telling you it is burdened in some way. To add synthetic substances to an already burdened body only adds to the problem, but needing quick relief, we often do it anyway.

From a holistic perspective, any type of pain is a message directly from our wisest self. Head pain tells a story of a life out of balance. It says a great deal about our society as a whole when almost everyone owns pain pills. Knowing various solutions to our ailments empowers us to step away from the madness and back toward the balance point.

The first thing to consider when you have headaches is whether you are constipated. Taboo subject, I realize, but relevant because your bowels must keep moving. Next, is your blood sugar balanced, are you hydrated properly, and is your liver functioning well? Take care of these and you’ll see your head pain decrease dramatically. Keep in mind, you have control over all of these. They are directly related to your own actions: what you eat and drink.

Other contributing factors include eye strain, chemical exposure, allergies, hormone fluctuations, structural misalignment, worry, muscle tension, and general stress. Your headaches are most likely a combination of several interrelated things. So what more can you do if you want to help your body come back into balance and live a more holistic lifestyle?

Begin by listening to your headaches as your wise messenger. What are they telling you? Are you eating too much sugar, drinking too much alcohol, having allergies to certain foods, or simply not nourishing yourself? Are you allowing yourself enough time in the day to sit back, rest your eyes, and relax? Is your liver overburdened so it cannot process toxins through you? Is your mind carried away with worries and frightening thoughts? Has your upper body become tight and tense due to the workaday world?

I am fairly certain you might say, “All of the above.” This is why we have painkillers within an arm’s reach. But there are many things you can do so your headaches become a condition of the past. Some of them work slowly which is a drawback for the fast-paced among us. For example, burdock is not a quick fix, but it will powerfully heal you from the inside out over time.

There are numerous effective remedies. I offer ten here to get your started. The tinctures, teas, and essential oils can be found at natural food markets or purchased at www.mountainroseherbs.com. For essential oils, be strict about only using the highest quality, pure oils. I prefer Young Living which isn’t sold in stores. If you want to use them, send a request through my website and I will refer you to a distributor.

Ten simple and inexpensive remedies to ease headache pain:

1. Nettles tea helps stabilize your blood sugar and relieve chronic headaches. It can also be used in tincture form.
2. Dandelion root and leaves nourish and strengthen your liver so it can better process toxins in your body. Eat the leaves in salads, use a tincture, or drink as a tea.
3. Burdock root works well with dandelion on headache pain by cleansing the blood and nourishing your liver. Add fresh burdock to soups or use as a tincture.
4. Violet leaf tea sipped throughout the day calms the mind and soothes headaches and frazzled nerves.
5. Oats strengthen the nervous system, bring clarity to thinking, and can reduce pain. Add oatmeal to your diet.
6. The essential oil of peppermint deadens pain with an anti-inflammatory effect. You can apply it to the bottom of your feet, temples, or directly on the painful site. Avoid contact with your eyes.
7. The essential oil of lavender is calming, relaxing, and balancing. Apply on temples or behind your neck.
8. Listen to Baroque music. It brings your brainwaves into alpha, where you can relax and ease your mind.
9. Put your feet into a tub of water to which you have added a cup of Epsom salts and a few drops of lavender or rosemary essential oil. This will help detoxify you and balance your energy.
10. Breathe slowly with awareness. Stretch or practice yoga to calm your nerves and bring oxygen into your body.

If any of the herbs appeal to you, inquire with your naturopath, herbalist, acupuncturist, or holistic doctor as to which would be best for you, especially if you have a medical condition or take medication. To learn more about these herbs in a fun and entertaining way, read Healing Wise by Susun Weed.

Change: Friend or Foe?

We have seen the end of the first decade of a brand new millennium. From its beginning, this new millennium has brought us change, much of it disturbing because of the way it overturned our worldview and created new fears. Change continues whether we agree with it or not. If we are wise, we roll with it and accept that it is what we can depend on the most in life.

I believe one of our tasks as human beings is to overcome the useless fears that pervade our modern lives. One of the big fears is about change. I think fear restricts the body, mind, and spirit, shrinking one’s life experience into an uncomfortable little box. Yet, there is so much focus on it, I wonder why human beings would want to create this type of constriction for themselves.

One means to overcome fear is to develop a sense of trust and faith in something greater than oneself, such as a belief that there is something beyond our ordinary mundane lives. World religions and philosophies have sought to provide this for people, but many of them have fallen short of actually teaching a person how to be free from useless fears.

I was thinking about the movie detailing a catastrophic 2012. Many of you know about the prophecies associated with that year, including it being the end year of the Mayan calendar. People have created all sorts of fear-based stories around this, such as it being the end of days where horrible things are going to happen to us before we all burn in a ball of fiery hell. Then Hollywood makes a movie so thousands of folks can sit and stare at it, allowing horrific images to burn into the collective psyche.

I suspect it is partly the addiction to adrenalin that makes trauma, drama, blood, and guts intriguing to people. But also it is a refusal on the part of many to harness one’s mind for the sake of good. To get into the director’s chair of one’s own mind means to take responsibility for one’s personal fears. Uh-oh. Too scary! Some would say, “How can I take responsibility for the fears I experience? Life just gets thrown my way and I have to deal with it somehow!”

Although you have to deal with it you do have a choice! You can grow your fears or live every moment of your life as if it were sacred. Even the worst of times can be your life’s most deeply healing and enriching, bringing you to an entirely new place of wisdom. On the other hand, your fears increase and grow stronger when you think about them and give them a place at the dinner table. Your fears multiply when you watch the news and agree with the newscasters that things are really, really bad. Naturally they increase when you share your fears with others and convince them that it is true, it’s a quite scary place, this planet earth, and we all might die someday. Or, at the very least, we might not get what we want. Humph!

Just for fun, listen to a conversation about 2012 between Fear and Non-fear. “Oh boy, we better get ready to hang on because the earth is going to rumble. We are going to have earthquakes, tsunamis, maybe even nuclear war.” So? “Well, our houses will all be smashed and under water! Or worse, there could be horrible explosions!” So? “We might lose everything! People could die!” So? “We don’t want that!” Why not? “Because we don’t!” Why not? “Because everything would be ruined!” So? “We could die!” So? “We don’t want that!” Ok, we don’t want that. What do we want? “We want life to go on as it is, with very little change!” Ok. “And we don’t want calamity and upset!” You are right, we don’t. What do you suppose you will be doing in 2013? “Fearing something else!” From a house that is under water? “Well, it will probably not be under water.” How do you know? “I don’t! But we are in the midst of great change and we need to prepare for it.” Would you be willing to change your mind? “Change my mind? About what?” About how awful the future could be? “After all I’ve been through? Now I have to change my mind? Oh, I can’t take all this…” Ok. Get back to me if you change your mind.

Silly isn’t it? When we have fear that is not related to the type necessary to crank up the body’s defenses for physical survival, it is an indication that the mind is in a circular cycle, stuck. The way to overcome the fear is to change the mind. It is imperative to learn to accept change, to not fear it, and to welcome it. When we allow change to make way for something new, we allow our lives to roll forward. We allow ourselves to grow. The more we can flow with change in life and allow our minds to be free, the easier it is to live in the moment and enjoy this life, this day, this minute, right now.

The Healing Power of Connecting with Others

As you gather with your families and friends this week some of you will look forward to a beautiful treat while others will see it as an event that adds more stress to an already stressful life. We could love the idea of meeting our loved ones, while the reality of it could mean we are annoyed at seeing some of the same old issues crop up that we wish would just go away.

For all of us, no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in during this holiday week, we can use the experiences for gaining wisdom. I realize that wisdom is not everyone's goal. But if you're like me, it trumps just about everything else. I like to use life circumstances as opportunities to expand my own well of wisdom. Gatherings of many people are good sources of these "circumstances."

Let's talk about an approach to maintain a calm, neutral disposition so you can experience these holidays with less stress and more fun.

Real human contact, face to face relationships, have the ability to keep us in balance. We need to be with others and feel a sense of belonging. Knowing this, you can use your time with the people you'll be with this week to help you feel good.

Stress levels in our society have increased partly because people are isolated from one another. Families and friends live at a distance while electronic devices, computers, and cell phones offer the illusion of connecting us with humanity.

With this in mind, invite others to be with you and accept invitations of others. Allow yourself to come together with real, warm human beings. Even if you head into a situation that triggers annoyances and other uncomfortable emotions, you can use this time with others to heal on many levels.

Your energetic body gets balanced by the shared energy of a group. Where you have deficiencies or excesses in your energy field, the group energy helps bring them into balance. I believe this is one reason the "tribe" was and still is important. It gives a sense of security in part because it helps balance one's energy.

You can use your gatherings with others to benefit you in many ways. Of course, though most of us won't want to admit it, when we have emotional upsets around family and friends it's all about our own inner world, and has nothing to do with that pesky sister-in-law.

This provides each of us with a golden opportunity to grow in wisdom. Did you ever see the wise old sage getting upset because Aunt Jane said or did something out of line? No, because the sage would remain aware of his or her own energy and be non-reactive. The wise old sage has the courage to allow Aunt Jane to be who she is without putting judgment on it.

Getting Grounded

Have you heard someone say they feel “ungrounded?” Or, that they believe someone else is not very grounded? You probably have, but what does this really mean? In this context it isn’t like an airplane unable to take off, or a teenager being punished. Being grounded in this day and age has to do with being stable, balanced, calm, and focused. Let’s talk a little bit about this concept, because it is relevant to our wellbeing, especially in times of uncertainty or change.

I’ll start by giving you the contrast: an ungrounded person. This person will be fuzzy-headed, forgetful, anxious, wired, excitable, and distracted. Their energy drifts like a balloon disconnected from a child's hand, a bit lost and forlorn. I see it as being energetically disconnected.

Our lifestyles contribute to this state of disconnectedness. Driving in cars, flying in airplanes and traveling in general, being on a computer, watching television, working and living in artificial environments with concrete, fluorescent lights, and electricity, being in crowds of people, and even feeling pressured, worried, or stressed. All of these take us away from our natural balance –they interfere with our natural connection to the earth - literally, the ground.

In a state of ungroundedness you can be more easily influenced by others, the life you live might not feel wholly your own, you might experience injuries and accidents, feel anxiety, panic, irritability, foggy thinking, and be a compulsive overeater. These are all instances where we are not centered or stable and they indicate why it is important to be aware of our groundedness – of being centered, focused, and calm. Just the act of coming back into a state of groundedness can shift our entire perception of life from one of negativity to one of hope and optimism.

So what can you do to become more grounded? The first step is to pay closer attention to your surroundings while noticing your own physical body. How does the chair feel that you are sitting in? What do your feet feel like? What physical signs or symptoms are you trying to ignore? For example, are you thirsty? Do you have any pain or tightness in your body? Are you thinking about the future while you are also reading this?

Simple awareness of your breathing will help bring you into a more grounded state. Spending a few moments a day in nature will help. Connect with the earth in some way - sit or stand on the ground. Notice the weather. What is happening in your natural environment? Feel the breeze, smell the earth’s scents, take note of how the sun feels. I also use visualization. One easy technique is to see or feel yourself as a huge, beautiful tree with deep roots going into the earth.

Understanding the value of being grounded is essential to being stable, balanced, focused, and calm. The awareness at any given moment of how grounded you are can be a tool for personal mastery, fulfillment, and self-empowerment. Although there is more to it, here are a few quick ideas to help you with your own state of groundedness.

Quick Tips on Getting Grounded

1. Breathe with awareness
2. Sit in nature
3. Watch the sun rise or set
4. Place your feet or hands on the earth
5. Eat food from the earth
6. Be aware of your surroundings
7. Notice physical symptoms or signs
8. Stop, Look, and Listen
9. Visualize yourself rooted into the earth