Soul Searching

I much prefer a one-on-one conversation over a large cocktail party, which might explain why I quit Twitter after two weeks. I am interested in human beings, what makes them tick, their passions, their mental and emotional blockages, their beliefs and whether the foundation of those beliefs is true to their soul. I’m not interested in skimming the surface. I rarely care about what important person they might know or what kind of status society has bestowed upon them. These are from the ego, public facades, which can be intriguing, but we clearly have them in abundance and they have led us astray. They ignore what’s real, shunning the soul’s essence where our true happiness emanates.

For a decade and longer I’ve had the privilege to hear intimate stories, concerns, and desires of people from many backgrounds. Such interesting and amazing experiences we humans have in our lifetimes along with very personal, oftentimes deeply painful suffering and burdens. These stories repeat themselves through the strands of our common human bond, and at the end of the day we all find ourselves in the same boat. But each of us has our own twist, our own unique aspects and elements. Like our fingerprints, no two are alike. Each is precious.

I believe we are here to express our soul’s essence in creative ways, in whatever ways bring us the most joy. It is the lack of this expression, the blocking of it, that causes imbalances in our lives: emotionally, mentally, physically, in our relationships, finances, our worldview. When we are living from our soul essence, life falls into place. It feels right, good, happy. And things might happen that we dislike, but we are able to overcome them and get back on track.

When I am presented with a new situation in my work, which is another way to say when a person calls on me for guidance, and while they tell me their story about their concerns or desires, my intuitive sensors beam out on a soul-searching mission. Why? Oh, why. Good question. Because we have lost our connection with soul. It is evident we are a people who has lost our connection with divinity. This divinity to which I refer need not involve the various gods created by religions. Rather, this divinity is the life force and power source for each person, where ultimate truth resides. So with each person that passes before me, my goal is to uncover the truth within that person. One’s personal, unique truth that awaits recognition.

Over many years of modern-day living, bombarded with a stream of unconscious programming through television, movies, and other sources, we start to develop mental and emotional layers that don’t belong to us. Before long, we can’t figure out why we are not fulfilled, why we are depressed, in pain, waking up all night long. Well, the layers have buried our true essence, the light of our soul, which is fantastic to rediscover. It is the source of joy, freedom, creativity, abundance, well-being, gratitude – the qualities that make life full, and fulfilling. When we run someone else’s program, or society’s program, or Vogue magazine’s program (which are based in fear, coercion, making money, or all of the above) we are trying to guide a ship that isn’t our own through waters we don’t belong in. No wonder Pfizer is so successful!

As a holistic healer, my work involves counseling, lifestyle advice, energy balancing and clearing, encouraging and cheering you on, but also a great deal of soul-searching. True healing means uncovering your essence. This is how healing can occur even for one who is very close to death. I want to see what’s going on behind the scenes. I like to delve into the deep, to see what’s real, to glimpse a bit of the soul. I don’t waste time before getting to this depth. “Don’t go to Dr. Grant if you’re afraid to see the truth,” one colleague tells her clients. I agree! This isn’t a dress rehearsal. We’ve wasted enough time already. I want the truth-seekers.

I encourage people to shift toward greater authenticity, toward recognizing and respecting one’s own nature, media blasts and societal expectations aside. This is the path of our bliss, even in the midst of illness or tragedy. Sometimes, yes, there are those stubborn layers, habits of thought that keep a person powerless or attached to a victim mentality. These can be softened and transformed if one is willing. Once the shift begins, worries subside, a sense of well-being sets in, a new bright world opens up. This is the world we came to dance in.

Change: Friend or Foe?

We have seen the end of the first decade of a brand new millennium. From its beginning, this new millennium has brought us change, much of it disturbing because of the way it overturned our worldview and created new fears. Change continues whether we agree with it or not. If we are wise, we roll with it and accept that it is what we can depend on the most in life.

I believe one of our tasks as human beings is to overcome the useless fears that pervade our modern lives. One of the big fears is about change. I think fear restricts the body, mind, and spirit, shrinking one’s life experience into an uncomfortable little box. Yet, there is so much focus on it, I wonder why human beings would want to create this type of constriction for themselves.

One means to overcome fear is to develop a sense of trust and faith in something greater than oneself, such as a belief that there is something beyond our ordinary mundane lives. World religions and philosophies have sought to provide this for people, but many of them have fallen short of actually teaching a person how to be free from useless fears.

I was thinking about the movie detailing a catastrophic 2012. Many of you know about the prophecies associated with that year, including it being the end year of the Mayan calendar. People have created all sorts of fear-based stories around this, such as it being the end of days where horrible things are going to happen to us before we all burn in a ball of fiery hell. Then Hollywood makes a movie so thousands of folks can sit and stare at it, allowing horrific images to burn into the collective psyche.

I suspect it is partly the addiction to adrenalin that makes trauma, drama, blood, and guts intriguing to people. But also it is a refusal on the part of many to harness one’s mind for the sake of good. To get into the director’s chair of one’s own mind means to take responsibility for one’s personal fears. Uh-oh. Too scary! Some would say, “How can I take responsibility for the fears I experience? Life just gets thrown my way and I have to deal with it somehow!”

Although you have to deal with it you do have a choice! You can grow your fears or live every moment of your life as if it were sacred. Even the worst of times can be your life’s most deeply healing and enriching, bringing you to an entirely new place of wisdom. On the other hand, your fears increase and grow stronger when you think about them and give them a place at the dinner table. Your fears multiply when you watch the news and agree with the newscasters that things are really, really bad. Naturally they increase when you share your fears with others and convince them that it is true, it’s a quite scary place, this planet earth, and we all might die someday. Or, at the very least, we might not get what we want. Humph!

Just for fun, listen to a conversation about 2012 between Fear and Non-fear. “Oh boy, we better get ready to hang on because the earth is going to rumble. We are going to have earthquakes, tsunamis, maybe even nuclear war.” So? “Well, our houses will all be smashed and under water! Or worse, there could be horrible explosions!” So? “We might lose everything! People could die!” So? “We don’t want that!” Why not? “Because we don’t!” Why not? “Because everything would be ruined!” So? “We could die!” So? “We don’t want that!” Ok, we don’t want that. What do we want? “We want life to go on as it is, with very little change!” Ok. “And we don’t want calamity and upset!” You are right, we don’t. What do you suppose you will be doing in 2013? “Fearing something else!” From a house that is under water? “Well, it will probably not be under water.” How do you know? “I don’t! But we are in the midst of great change and we need to prepare for it.” Would you be willing to change your mind? “Change my mind? About what?” About how awful the future could be? “After all I’ve been through? Now I have to change my mind? Oh, I can’t take all this…” Ok. Get back to me if you change your mind.

Silly isn’t it? When we have fear that is not related to the type necessary to crank up the body’s defenses for physical survival, it is an indication that the mind is in a circular cycle, stuck. The way to overcome the fear is to change the mind. It is imperative to learn to accept change, to not fear it, and to welcome it. When we allow change to make way for something new, we allow our lives to roll forward. We allow ourselves to grow. The more we can flow with change in life and allow our minds to be free, the easier it is to live in the moment and enjoy this life, this day, this minute, right now.

Encourage Healthy Breasts with Self Breast Massage

Breast cancer and how to prevent it is a concern for us all. I've noticed there is very little focus on what we can do to help prevent it. Rather the focus is on finding a cure by funding pharmaceutical companies. I hope someday a cure is actually revealed, but in the meantime, let's talk about the things you can do for yourself so you can actively contribute to your own health and well-being.

One topic I never hear discussed in the media is stagnation in the breast tissue. The people that discuss this are those well-educated in Chinese Medicine. These folks are few, but I can help get the word out on their behalf, and so can you.

Stagnation in the breast tissue can occur when there is little movement in and around the breasts. Various factors can contribute to it, many of which we don't ordinarily consider. For example, did you know that breast tissue collects debris and toxins from cosmetics, including deodorant and antiperspirant? Other culprits are calcium deposits, scar tissue from trauma, tight chest, neck, and back muscles, the side effects of radiation exposure, and sluggish qi flow, or "energy.” Each of these can reduce the healthy flow of blood and lymph through your breasts. They can also create low levels of oxygen in breast tissue.

Oxygen in our breast tissue is an important consideration. Cancer cells tend to collect around dead cells and areas with little oxygen. They don’t survive in a highly-oxygenated environment. To encourage healthier breast tissue, it is wise to get movement through the breasts and motion through sluggish tissue.

One way to encourage this movement is with breast massage. I think this can be done instead of your monthly self-exam. Is the current way women are taught to examine their breasts ideal? Searching for cancer and suspicious lumps is not where I want to focus my mind. For many women it triggers fear. That can't be helpful. When you do self-massage you become aware of the landscape of your breasts and how your breasts feel under the surface. If there is any change to what you know to be normal for yourself, you will know right away and can have it checked.

Weekly breast massage is a nurturing, sensible approach to breast health. It is done with the intention of healing and helps you become familiar with the landscape of your breasts. I believe this is a more effective way to keep aware of your body, rather than the approach of searching for unusual lumps.

There is a massage technique from Medical Qi Gong that is said to break the cycle of disease in the breasts as well as move the tissue and prevent it from stagnating. This is to simply massage both breasts in a circular manner 36 times inward followed by 36 times outward. This technique is further explained and demonstrated in a video called "Medical Qi Gong for Breast Health" by Jerry Alan Johnson, which can be found online.

I recommend using a breast balm or oil in your weekly massage. "Breast Balm" by MoonMaidBotanicals is designed for breast massage and contains poke root and calendula-infused organic olive oil with St. John’s Wort and cedar. These herbs are known to give relief to breast swelling and lumps. You can inquire about it at your natural food store or order it online. Meanwhile, I hope you will familiarize yourself with this very simple way to keep your own breast tissue flowing, fluid, and healthy.

Scrooge Brings on the Grief

Tears rolled down my cheeks faster than I could catch them. I believe that was the first time this happened for me at a stage play. I didn’t realize the musical production of Scrooge during the recent holidays would invoke my grief. I wasn’t the only one. I noted that the woman in front of me wiped her eyes as did the woman two seats to my left. Oh good, it wasn’t just me.

What might have been unique to me in this particular setting is that my tears just kept coming, beyond the scene that provoked them. I was unaware that the river behind my eyes was ready to flood its banks. I was unprepared for it to happen while I sat in darkness amongst a crowd of people in the brand new Crocker Theater at Cabrillo College.

I have that multi-talented cast to thank for allowing me to pretend that the ghost of Christmas past was real. And that Scrooge himself was real; indeed he walks among and through us at times. The scene was so well delivered that Scrooge’s grief at not having taken the opportunity to properly have, love, and hold his sister and later his fiancé seemed plausible. So much so, it cracked open my own heart and tapped into all the times I too didn’t take the opportunity to love someone enough. Or maybe I did love them fully, but their time came to pass on from this life. And the grief of these experiences, all rolled up into one lazy river now, spilled the banks.

I’m sure what made part of this so significant was it tied to the sorrow I’ve tried to get beyond since the loss of my special friend Carmela six months ago. Oh, how I tried to say, “This is life, Christina. The older you get, the more people you will see die. We must just move along now, and let her go.” But it hasn’t quite turned out that way.

For some reason I believe I’ve had my fair share of losses in my lifetime and then some. Do all of you feel this way? Maybe we all do. It seems to have been a constant in my life. Some of the losses happened suddenly – my college roommate dying of carbon monoxide poisoning in our house. I was so young then and it was such a tremendous shock, and I didn’t get to properly say goodbye. Some of the losses happened slowly. In that same year, my best college friend died of cancer. I learned early on the practice of letting go, and to try to make some sense out of the fact that even the young ones can leave us when their lives have barely begun.

Even though I’m older now and think I’ve got a pretty good handle on this loss stuff, I discovered these past few months I’m still just a basic human being who has to grieve it on out just like everyone else, every time. Does it get easier? I think it does, and has. I don’t seem to be so surprised or shocked anymore by death. But the grieving process is still hard and takes its own sweet time. It doesn’t let me push it around or rush it along. No, it’s got its own ideas and won’t be managed by someone like me who doesn’t want to feel those feelings.

And so this is what occurred for me at the very end of 2009 as I sat at a lovely, perfectly conducted musical. I was reminded that we are the same in our hearts, even Scrooge and all those we know who possess some of his hard-hearted traits. Maybe it’s just the degree of how deeply we choose to feel what is in our hearts that makes us seem different to one another.

I’m certainly not in a position to critique another person for being what we might call “cold-hearted” toward another person. I think none of us want to feel that deep, cutting pain that comes with a personal loss. I can see the reasoning behind hardening a heart to avoid that pain. But if we do, what of life do we miss that might be extraordinary? The death of my friend Carmela last June has made me grateful for every moment of the 20 years I knew her that I loved her with an open heart. My soul friend and mentor, though I grieve now and have a river running just behind my eyes waiting to spill its banks at any unpredictable moment, I’d do it again. In fact, yes, if given the opportunity, I will.

Mercury Retrograde December 26 - January 15

To many people, Mercury Retrograde is a curiosity - a mysterious occurrence that fouls up computers, derails plans, causes delays, and generally confuses communications. And, this is partly true. But there need not be worry around the concept of this planet "turning retrograde." Once you understand what this implies, you can begin to use the energy in your favor.

Mercury, when moving forward in its orbit, helps us plan, begin anew, and communicate effectively. It's associated with the mind. The retrograde period, which lasts around 21 days and occurs 3-4 times every year, doesn't really mean that the planet turns backward in its orbit. It just appears to do so from our vantage point here on Earth. It appears to initially slow down, then stop, then go backwards. It's not actually happening. Nonetheless, we Earthlings are affected by this apparent retrograde motion.

The important thing to remember about these 3-week periods of time is they are meant to contrast being and doing. Most people's lives in our society are overscheduled, too busy, outwardly focused, mundane, and filled with distractions. Three times every year (sometimes four) Mercury turns retrograde and asks us this question: "Does your overscheduled, too busy, outwardly focused, mundane, and distracted life bring you happiness?" It asks us to shift our focus, just for a very brief period in time, to the sacred. To the inner world of reflection, meaning, wisdom, and natural rhythms.

Those of us who ignore Mercury's plea to slow down, turn inward, and reflect will find ourselves delayed, frustrated, misunderstood, and drifting in a world of confusion. This is partly why we are admonished not to buy new things during Mercury retrograde, or sign contracts, or make major decisions, or begin new projects. Because when we do, things often turn out confused, misunderstood, and just plain wrong. They frequently need to be redone, after Mercury has turned direct and is moving forward again.

Another thing to remember during Mercury retrograde which will benefit you greatly: it is a time of renewal. Rest, restore, reflect, or at least, if you must continue to press forward during this time then use it to review, revise, rewrite, and recollect your thoughts. If you don't, you are going against nature's own rhythm, going against the grain, you might as well swim upstream. If you know what part of your birth chart Mercury retrograde falls in, you will also gain some insight into what part of your life is being most affected.

Mercury retrograde is a blessed time for a course correction in life. The car breaks down, your computer stops working, your emails get mysteriously lost, communications of all sorts become foggy. What to do? Stop, rest, renew, reflect, and meditate. We must, for our own well-being, have a few moments in our lives when we stop and turn inward, when we allow the mundane to turn to the sacred, when we give our busy lives a rest.

How is this possible you might ask? How do I slow down my life when I've got bills to pay and babies to feed and so on and so forth? I do not think we can afford to continue the fast paced push forward without some quiet, introspective, reconnection to the core of our own being. To avoid turning within creates insanity, masked by our popular use of painkillers, anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety remedies and a general absentmindedness to the beauty and sanctity of life.

The time is coming. It will be officially "retro" December 26th through January 15th, 2010, but keep in mind that a few days prior to December 26th are tricky because Mercury is very slow or actually stationary.

So, we have three weeks coming up to give it a try. As for taking vacations? I think Mercury retrograde is a perfect time, as long as your vacation plans were made well in advance of the actual retrograde period. And once on the trip, take it slow, expect delays, relax, renew, reflect. Especially with the holiday celebrations, wherever you are, practice taking some nice deep breaths. Practice patience. And trust it. It is on your side.