Guilt has been utilized for centuries to get the masses to cooperate. On a more personal level, mothers, fathers, teachers, children, clergy, friends, employers, and partners use the powerful tool to control one another. But guilt forces people to depart from their true, authentic natures and adopt a falsehood. If you participate in this inauthentic way of being, it likely eats away at your healthy sense of self - a constant reminder of your being “less than.” You’ve done something wrong. You are not ok.
1. I didn’t want to do what I was told. I had a defiant streak.
2. I wanted to “do lunch” my way.
3. I wanted to be seen by those in authority as “good” so I could avoid the discomfort that goes along with humiliation, shame, and judgment.
4. I didn’t always fit the model of “good” even though I thought I should.
When you begin to recognize your gap and your own truth emerges you get to trade the old burden for something more empowering: personal responsibility and integrity. Nowadays when I don’t want to eat something for lunch I just say it. I’ve got a “picky” reputation. My mother has a hard time with it. People sometimes roll their eyes. I’m not easy to travel with. And that’s ok.