How to Hold Your Balance in Unusual Times

We've finally arrived at the threshold of the long-awaited Summer of 2010. Stargazers have been wondering what this particular summer might bring because there is a rare alignment of planets in the sky. The last time they danced together was during the revolutionary mid-60's when the unexpected coincided with social unrest and an unraveling of oppression. Many people are wondering what these next few months have in store for us.

We seem to be perched on the edge of a new evolutionary leap. We are witnessing intense times, not unlike what many of our ancestors saw, but more troubling because of the 24-hour news cycle which keeps us continually abreast of worldwide details. We all know how jarring and upsetting the news can be, especially lately with the added feelings of helplessness around the oil "spill." Now devastating our ecosystem, we aren't quite certain what to make of it.

Feelings of helplessness can cause high levels of stress. People feel better when they can take action to make a change or at least feel they are doing something, anything, to exert control over a difficult situation.

It is wise to convert feelings of helplessness into something less stressful. One way is to explore how you can make a positive difference in your own community. By taking small steps, for example by doing something as simple as donating old towels to your local animal shelter, you can feel better about not being able to do much on the bigger scale. Your action doesn't have to be huge to relieve a sense of helplessness in the face of a difficult situation. It will help to just do something to benefit your small corner of the planet.

When you are under higher stress than normal due to outside circumstances you can’t control, it is important to take a holistic approach to feel stronger, more serene, and balanced. This means paying attention to your physical body - and also your mental state, your emotions, and your spirit.

Let’s look at a situation that affects your mind and emotions. Questions and concerns are swirling around in the minds of almost everyone, and we have multiple situations where we are more easily affected by what I call the "group think."

The "group think" is powerful because you can be swept into it without realizing it. It occurs when many people begin feeling or believing in the same way until the power of the belief or feeling expands to the point of becoming very influential. Just consider mass hysteria and how it spreads like wildfire and you’ll get the picture. When you are aware of this phenomenon and how it can affect your perceptions, you can begin to separate your own thoughts and feelings from that of the mass consciousness.

There are good reasons why it is wise to know when your thoughts belong to you or to the group. Mass consciousness, at least up to now, has been tightly woven with fear. Anytime you are swept into a tide that is based on fear, you lose sight of your higher perspective, the quality of your life is diminished, and you are not living from your own centered place.

These are times to maintain perspective, to be centered, and to be aware when you are caught up in a stream of fear-based reactions. What can you actually do to keep your balance or regain it once it's lost? There are some simple steps you can take.

1. Nourish your body with whole, real food. Make yourself a few of your favorite comfort foods.
2. Limit your sugar intake, as it is directly linked with anxiety and mood swings.
3. Re-evaluate your need to be busy, busy, busy. Sit back and relax a little. Enjoy the warmth of the sun.
4. Take a 2-day news break once a week. No TV, newspaper, or internet news. Let your mind be free from the onslaught.
5. Relax your shoulders and breathe slowly, regularly, more deeply.
6. Turn off the computer in the early evening. To help relax your mind, meditate or read a good novel before bed.
7. Pray, visualize, or otherwise request what you would like to see in the world.
8. Have a bottle of Bach Rescue Remedy handy - a natural stress-reliever.
9. Get connected with the earth by going out into nature. This will balance your energy.
10. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people.

The Universe: Modern-Era God?

My friend John asked me to write about the universe. I mentioned this to another friend, a fellow writer, and she said, “Oh my God. That is such a huge topic.” She thought my friend asked me to talk about the whole universe. Actually, he meant for me to discuss what I think about the usage of the term in daily conversation.

This word “universe” is now in ordinary speech in a way it wasn’t just a few years ago. It turns up in this way: “The universe didn’t want me to have that house.” Or, “Apparently the universe wants me to go to Maui instead of Arizona.” It is used in relationship talk as in, “The universe will send you the right partner when you’re ready.” It’s used in job conversations, too: “Dan was fired because the universe didn’t want him in that position. It wasn’t right for him.”

We now talk about The Universe as if it is an all-powerful being, capable of running our lives. We have elevated it to more than mere matter, energy, planetary configurations, black holes, the Milky Way, and vast space. It is now… get ready… God.

Perhaps many people have become more comfortable in this day of church-and-state correctness to use a term that doesn’t exclude, turn off, or aggravate anyone. I believe “the universe” is this term. Who can be offended by it?

To answer my own question, someone like my mother. Raised by a Southern woman who was proud to have a PTL Club bumper sticker on her Pontiac, she would be offended or at least annoyed if I said, “Mom, the universe must not want you to have perfect vision anymore.” Or, “The universe obviously doesn’t want you to run on the treadmill, otherwise your foot wouldn’t hurt when you do it.” She would be certain I’d gone off the deep end.

Just the same, in this bubble we call California, I hear phrases such as these as a matter of course. Wondering whether it was primarily “new thought” communities using the term, I got my answer just yesterday when reading about retirement in an ordinary New York Times bestseller. I saw “The Universe” has its hands in that field too, right there in the practical, no-nonsense advice pages of what to do with your money.

So has God become The Universe? Or did The Universe become God, which now is reverting back to itself? I don’t have this answer, but I do have a sense of what the term implies.

If The Universe is an active participant in our lives, our worldview includes the idea that conscious and unconscious forces play a role in ultimate order. One assumes circumstances play out for a reason. From this perspective, giving some responsibility to the all-powerful Universe for the way things turn out is a relief. It’s not entirely our fault when plans go awry and we make messes. Even catastrophes might have a higher purpose.

Last week an environmental group spokesperson said perhaps the oil devastation in the Gulf of Mexico is yet another sign from The Universe that we must develop alternative energy. Many people agree. However, to see it conveyed on national news indicates people believe things happen for a reason. The notion has slipped into the national psyche without the “God” terminology that seems to separate people.

People want to believe that the worst of circumstances are not just random and their suffering isn’t for nothing. We look for signs showing whether some good might result from the terrible situations we humans can find ourselves in. This is one of the roles belief in God plays in the lives of humans. But to discuss God in mixed company is awkward. Unless you are in a fairly homogenous community, religion is best not broached if one wants to keep the peace. Perhaps this is why “The Universe” term was birthed.

Beyond explaining the unknowable, The Universe might have further practical use. If we adopt the idea that all things happen for the best and highest good of all, we foster faith that The Universe does not conspire against us, but actually causes and prohibits things from happening in order to keep us on our right path.

For example, I remember stories just after the attacks on September 11th. People said they were meant to be on one of the airplanes or in their office but something odd prevented them from actually getting there. “The Universe stopped me from being there because it wasn’t my time to go.” It is given the same meaning as, “God wasn’t ready for me yet.”

Maybe when we use “The Universe” to talk about our lives, we get to have a little faith in a Higher Power without the added discomfort around revealing religious beliefs. I don’t have the answers to this, but I do find humanity’s dance with religion and faith an interesting one to consider.

Where is the Care in Conventional Health Care?

My entire orientation to health and well-being is from a holistic perspective so it astounds me to see the majority of our population allowing themselves to be “treated” by a system run by insurance companies and pharmaceutical giants. These industry giants dictate scientific study and treatments geared toward the ultimate goal of selling us something, not healing us.

Our system of medicine is excellent in emergencies and immediate life-saving procedures. If there is an emergency, I want conventionally-trained doctors on my case. However, beyond emergencies, there is nothing done to heal the whole person or address the root cause of an ailment. We are separated into little parts, our humanity cast aside. The incredible power and influence of the mind, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions to make us sick, and help us heal, is ignored.

When we arrive at a hospital or doctor’s office we are most often viewed as a file folder, an insurance card, and someone who needs to be dealt with as fast as possible because there are just too many other important things to do, like get on to the next patient (i.e. bring in more money), make sure to avoid being sued for malpractice, and bill insurance.

My mother is in her 70’s now. She said when she went in for a physical exam the doctor seemed puzzled that she wasn’t on any prescription drugs - not that she would be, since she is in great health, exercises daily, and eats well. I wonder why a doctor would be surprised that a 70-something person is not on a drug. Is this because almost everyone over a certain age has multiple bottles of prescription pills sitting in their cabinets?

I would like to see more holistic-oriented doctors coming out of medical school. The training for doctors is heavy on left-brain proof and scientific method, very light on heart, intuition, and what it means to be in service to others: the human side of healing. To be more holistic would require a different orientation from doctors: less devotion to needing everything proven by linear, limited science before it can be acknowledged, and more of an open mind to the mysteries and complexities of how a human being can heal; less of a need to get rich while fostering a desire to serve and be a healer.

Our training in this society is to trust science and refute intuition and inner knowing. I understand this, being trained in the system myself. It is valuable to have facts and figures we can see and know. It was drummed into me that you don’t say a word about anything unless there have been studies to back it up. But I’ve learned in practice with real, live human beings the deeper value of keeping the heart open and engaged, the mind flexible to human mysteries – to keep active within the thought, “Although I am well-trained and understand the value of science, I don’t have all the answers and am willing to entertain the improbable.”

What we now call “alternative” medicine is traditional medicine, used far longer than the very recent advent of a multi-billion dollar industry with profits on the mind. (Note that Americans seem less healthy now than ever before.) Only lately has it begun to make its way into conventional medicine. Reiki, acupuncture, massage, prayer, and energy healing are inching their way in - thankfully so - to help patients get something deeper that can touch the core of who they are, where true healing exists.

In my community there are multitudes of holistic healing resources including medical doctors that are aware of holistic practices and utilize these resources with their patients. My own conventional medical doctor is holistic in his approach. His office is quiet, comfortable, and warm. Not overwhelmed by frenzy, nor the standard tacky medical office furniture, or white, stark walls and artificial light, the environment itself puts people at ease. I appreciate that he is very conscious of the fact that a real, live, human being has sat down in the chair next to him. He sits, leans back, relaxes, looks at the patient as if he has all the time in the world to listen. And that he does, with his heart. He is gentle, wise, and not the least bit arrogant, rushed, or too busy. He never gives the impression that he is on a higher plane. Consequently, he is a beloved figure in the community.

One of the ways we can foster more doctors like this is to balance the male-dominated medical system (left-brain, linear) with the ancient, traditional healing arts of the feminine (right-brain, intuitive). And that is another subject for another day, because there is much to say about it. But keep it in mind. The only reason we’ve lost our connection to extremely powerful, nurturing, effective, and deeply healing practices is because we pushed the feminine underground. She’s on her way back, not to dominate, but to integrate. Meanwhile, seek out holistic, heart-centered practices to complement your healing the next time you have the need to see your doctor. You just might find the whole medical system works better for you when you have options and various healers devoted to your well-being.

What Do We Do About Death?

We don’t get much training in dying, being with the dying, or what to say to those who have just lost someone very close to them. The subject is generally feared and met with much resistance. We often hear the standard line, “I’m so sorry,” while people languish in their discomfort.

I am interested in how we can approach the subject of death with more reverence and respect. How can we treat it with the sacredness it deserves, rather than something terrible to quickly move beyond?

I’ll not forget the time I spent in the hospital with my dying friend whose body was being ravaged by a rare blood cancer. I sat on her bed, listened to her concerns and life stories, and did myriad tasks at her request. Just before she passed her cousin came to say hello. The cousin stood about 6’ away, purse over shoulder, arms crossed in front of her chest. She had brought her husband and they both had the same look on their faces – a look that said, “Good God, get me outta here.” They scrammed after about seven minutes. This as well as other encounters I witnessed during that time revealed much about how uncomfortable we are with death and dying.

Twice in my life I faced my own mortality - experiences that forever changed the way I look at both life and death. I’ve felt the cutting harshness when friends’ lives ended abruptly, and have helped people heal from painful losses they weren’t ready to accept. Perhaps it is because of these experiences I delve further into this subject, to explore it more deeply, to step into a much-needed role: that of being fully present in the face of dying.

Yesterday, I learned of the death of a sweet friend. He was 80, had lived a long, colorful life, and was fortunate to be at home among the people who love him most as he passed. My heart feels the pang of this loss. In the last several weeks, three people came to me after losing their beloved dogs. One of these touched me so deeply, my tears flowed out mid-session. When we are in relationship with others or when we are serving them, our human side must lead. How can we be fully engaged otherwise?

Two weeks ago I went to a daylong retreat led by Joan Halifax Roshi, a woman who has devoted much of her life to the importance of conscious awareness around dying. She teaches how we can evolve ourselves beyond the current reflex of avoidance to a place of having what she calls a “Strong back, Soft front.” Most of us have this reversed. Our hearts are quite armored and guarded, our backs are slumped and weak.

We can practice being present with a soft front to benefit those passing, those who have just lost someone close to them, and to deepen our wisdom around our own passing. The question is how? How can we put into practice something we know very little about? We begin by being aware of the desire to escape or avoid the inevitable. We can be more aware of our discomfort around this very normal human condition. We can recognize the inclination to say rote things such as, “I’m so sorry,” instead allowing our human side to lead.

When we allow our human side to lead, we have no choice but to have a soft front. We must give the dying or their loved ones the gift of having our full presence with them, not in fear and anguish, but with compassion. This is no easy task, but if you can enter a room with no expectations, setting your own fears aside for a time, with no attachment to the outcome, then you’ve got it. If your arms are crossed over your chest and your purse is hanging on your shoulder, keep practicing.

We are not taught to honor the aging, to bear witness to the suffering of those we love, or to be with death with a strong back. We must learn to do this on our own. So the next time you have the opportunity, go in with a strong back and a soft front. Be fully present in that atmosphere of death, whether it be your own loved one or the loved one of someone you know. When you say something, speak from your heart, leaving behind the canned clichés we know so well. Stop thinking you don’t know what to do or what to say. You aren’t being asked to walk barefoot across hot coals. You are being asked to listen to your soft front and go with that.

Eliminate Grain-Filled Commercial Foods for Your Pet's Best Health

Holistic care is as important for your animals as it is for you. Dogs and cats are unwitting victims of the fast-food industry, ingesting biologically imbalanced processed foods. These foods contain grains such as wheat, rice, and corn, by-products and other additives such as soy, preservatives, colorings, and flavorings.

When humans eat like this, they become obese and eventually diseased, with symptoms ranging from diabetes and arthritis to cancer and heart disease. It is the same with our animals. Obesity and joint conditions are common. Many animals have poor teeth and gums, and emit a foul odor. They suffer with internal and external parasites and inflammation resulting in skin rashes, itching, and joint pain.

People are convinced that processed kibble from the grocery store is healthy for their pets because commercials and labels tell them so. Words such as “all natural” help persuade buyers toward brands filled with grains and other unnecessary additives. As a result, most dogs and cats are eating substandard food.

In the last 70 years or so convenience foods came into vogue. In this time, we have lost what it means to eat close to nature. The whole family, companion animals included, dines on processed food. We know it’s time to turn that corner and come back to basics, not just for ourselves. No dog or cat should be eating foods with added grains. They wouldn’t eat them in the wild, and they don’t have a need for the extra carbohydrates.

Grains in dog and cat food are filler. They can lead to arthritis, skin conditions, lethargy, flatulence, and other preventable symptoms. Further, animals should not smell, have bad breath, poor teeth and gums, or be itching and scratching. If they do, this is a sign the body is not functioning well. Just like with your own health, the first step is to clean up the diet.

Ideally, dogs and cats should be given a diet that closely matches the nutritional balance they would have if they ate what nature intended. This means getting quality protein appropriate for their optimum health. They have no need for additives such as by products, soy, and colorings.
The top level food for your animals includes raw food, the majority of which is human-grade animal protein. The next rung down would be a high-quality canned food. The lowest and least desirable would be commercial kibble.

If you must feed only kibble, choose a no-grain variety with no unnecessary additives. These are usually found at feed stores or high-end animal supply stores. Supplement this diet with some fresh food. Dogs love carrots, for example, and you can experiment with other vegetables. Avoid giving them grapes, raisins, chocolate, walnuts, and macadamia nuts. Cats are interested in various vegetables, too. My cats love to eat cooled chicken soup with vegetables. It isn’t raw, but it’s nutrient-dense.

If any of you have animals in pain, with joint inflammation or another type of pain, you can experiment with removing grain and low-quality food and treats from their diet. Many people continue with the same substandard diet while giving anti-inflammatory drugs. These are not necessary nor is the suffering your animal endures.

Speak with a holistic, integrative veterinarian who is knowledgeable about proper diet and holistic approaches. If there isn’t one in your area yet, you can work with one by telephone, which I have done with success for the past 8 years. In fact, I have four animals who rarely if ever go into a veterinary office. Our house-call veterinarian is a specialist in homeopathy, herbs, acupuncture, and chiropractic.

If you can find a gem like this, you’ll not have to pay for regular veterinary visits with their accompanying tests, x-rays, and drug prescriptions. Instead, you’ll be promoting healthy, happy animals in the way we humans must treat ourselves: by enhancing our vitality, encouraging the body to heal itself, and stopping the madness of placing a bandage over every symptom without looking further into the deeper cause.

Meanwhile, you and your animals will thrive when you are deeply nourished, with both food and companionship. Let’s not ignore our trusted companions when it comes to what nourishes them: our presence and care along with top-quality food the way nature intended. Organic raw is best, combined in such a way that it is biologically balanced. To learn more about this, Dr. Richard Pitcairn, who I am not affiliated with in any way, has books and much information on his website: www.drpitcairn.com. There you’ll find detailed explanations of the points I touched on in this article.